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1 Singles – The Relationship Consultancy

Singles

Dating and relationship advice for singles looking for love

Top tips for singles and couples

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In the August edition of √Ąlskade √Ėstermalm, my top tips for singles looking to find love, and, couples looking to enhance their love. Not a direct translation from Swedish to English, but below is the gist of what I said… …

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Best life strategy: Invest in Love

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People with better quality relationships live longer, are happier, healthier (and even earn more money). Such is the conclusion drawn from over 75 years of research from Harvard University. George Vaillant, who directed the research for more than three decades …

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The Matchmaking Experiment

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Are you looking for a relationship? The Matchmaking Experiment is a completely new approach¬†to finding love. We bring together a group of singles, learn about dating and relationships¬†and then take on the challenge of finding a match for each other …

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The Matchmaking Experiment

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The Matchmaking Experiment ‚Äď a new approach to find love.

A series of meet-ups for singles of any age, gender, sexuality, where we learn about love and match-make each other.

– We will meet once a week for 4 weeks

– During these meet-ups we learn about love, matchmaking and relationships

– Participants are then paired up as ‚Äėbuddies‚Äô and given the task of introducing one person from within their own network to their buddy before the next meeting.

– The following week, we meet, check in on how it worked, learn from our mistakes and try it again with a new buddy.

The aim is to learn about ourselves, relationships and find a more organic way to expand our networks while making new friends and hopefully finding a new romance.

If you are interested in joining the matchmaking experiment, sign up here. 

 

Gay Matchmaking

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Why is it hard for gay men to find love?

Check out this (old) article written for Attitude Magazine in 2014, about the difficulties of being gay and finding love. During this short period of time, it feels that things have changed a lot. However, it is still hard to find¬†love in the gay community. The straight-acting, masculine, manly man is idealised to the extent that more effeminate men can feel alienated. Many gay men feel that they have to act ‘more straight’ to be attractive. What does this do for us psychologically? Shouldn’t we be striving¬†towards¬†a society of acceptance rather than still supporting a culture where we have to fit certain norms within our subgroup? Can we instead celebrate our differences and value that it is in¬†owning these¬†differences that¬†we actually become more attractive – puffing out our chest, lowering our voice and wearing a mask is certainly no turn on for me. However, having the courage to be authentically you, owning it, warts and all – thats pretty hot!

Online dating in the gay world, can be very harsh. For example, where else in the world today would you see¬†“no asians” or “no blacks”, like you do at the top of online dating profiles. They say it’s just about attraction, not racism, but it’s never okay to say this stuff, even if it is just to save time on your¬†grindr dating profile! I think any profiles with these harmful words should be taken down.

I also want to talk about attraction. We are not only caught up on how our partner looks, but, in my experience, many gay men have very rigid ideas of the ‘type’ that they are seeking. They have to have a beard, they have to be taller than me, they must¬†have a…, agh! By the time we get through all of your tick boxes, there are only two guys left and let me tell you, one is not interested in you and they other is actually not a good match for you because you are looking for all the wrong things.

What actually matters in a relationship? Yes attraction matters and if you allow it, attraction can be¬†far broader and deeper¬†than we give it credit for. Chemistry matters and you have to put yourself out there to see if you feel it – you can’t predict it. Values matter, the core,¬†meaningful stuff – dreams, goals etc. Personality matters… and¬†having some interests in common. But what also matters is kindness, happiness and acceptance – being with someone who can love¬†all of you, unconditionally, and who you¬†can do the same for in return. When you put up these obstacles about what you can’t love in other people, it says more about you than it does about them. Drop your guard and open your mind.

 

International Matchmaking

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International matchmaking Meet the matchmakers who find love for the international jet-set dating elite – The Telegraph Last year I was interviewed by the¬†Telegraph¬†about international dating and long-distance relationships. They were particularly interested in¬†Nylon¬†daters –¬†those glamorous jet-setters¬†splitting their time between …

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